Sunday's Greek Savoir-Vivre - Formal Dinners

 

 

 

Saint Valentine's Dinner 2008

 

1. The first and important thing to know is that  the table cutlery in formal dinners has a specific order. The ones that are away, that is, away from the plate, are the ones that we have to use first. And then we will continue with the rest following the same order. The forks are located to the left and the knives to the right. The spoons are also located to the right if there is soup in the menu. The cutlery for dessert is located in a horizontal position at the top of our plate. If there's a salad, the salad spoon is the first to use without a knife.
2. When it comes to the glasses, there are three types in general. They are located from left to right in the following order: water, white wine, red wine. According to the occasion, we could find a champagne glass that will be the fourth and last glass.
3. At the dinner table, we don't lean on the table or use our hands to support our head.We never fill up our plate!  We can have a second serving later.
4. We never pick up food with a piece of bread, dip  the bread in the soup or use it to mop up sauces!
5. If we need condiments or some more bread, we don't stand up nor do we stretch across the table crossing other guests to reach the item. We kindly ask the person sitting nearer to pass it to us.
6. Once seated, we unfold the napkin and place it on our knees. When we finish we place it tidily to the right side of our plate.
7. We should not be the first or the last to finish.
8. The host and hostess may wish to make a toast. In this case, we raise our glass slightly. In formal dinner parties we don't clink glasses.
9. We should not place our handbag  on the table. In a restaurant we hang it on the chair or place it on the floor next to our chair. If the dinner takes place at somebody's home, we leave it on our seat in the living-room.
10. Unless we need to use the bathroom, we don't leave the table before the host and hostess do so.
11. If the food presented to us is not to our liking, it is polite to at least make an effort to eat a small amount of it. Or at the very least, cut it up a little, and move it around the plate! In all cases, we never criticise the food or the service in a restaurant. If we feel unable to pay a compliment to the host and hostess, it's wise to remain silent.
12. It's all right to leave some food in our plate if we think we have eaten enough. On the other hand, we should not clean our plate as if we haven't eaten in days!
13. We never forget to thank the host and hostess before leaving. It's also good manners to send a handwritten thank-you note the following day.

You are very welcome to add any tips on Formal Dinner Etiquette in your country.

Comments

[Laura]

In the UK, if a lady should be excused for the bathroom, it is good manners for the gentlemen to stand up as she leaves, sit down again and then stand once more when she arrives.

[Jafar]

In India, you must finish all your food to be polite. Cut it up in small pieces as you say in number 11 and move it around your plate is very offending and embarassing for an Indian host. If you eat only a little and leave most food in your plate is also very impolite.

[Alexia M]

In the Netherlands, when you have finished eating you must place your knife and fork together in the center of your plate, with the prongs of the fork facing upwards.

[Jeff]

In the USA, the fork may be used in the left hand while cutting and in the right hand to pick up food. The European style is also acceptable.

[Bertrand]

Formal dining etiquette is quite complex in Sweden and there are a number of rules that need to be observed if you are to avoid offending your host or other guests. Hands should be kept visible at all times during a meal and not on laps, elbows should be kept well clear of the table. For toasts, the host only is permitted to initiate them and all guests should await the completion of the toast before taking a drink. Men should wait for the women to lower their glasses first before lowering their own and all guests should look others in the eye and nod before setting their glass down. Guests should try a little of everything served at the meal and set their knife and fork down together on the plate when finished. If dining at the house of a local, it's both polite and customary to bring a gift as a token of your appreciation; flowers, wine, chocolates or figurines are all appropriate, candy for the host's children is also a well received gesture

[Jean-Paul Bouvier]

En France, c'est généralement l’hôtesse qui place ses invités à table, il faut donc attendre qu’elle vous indique votre place. En général, si vous êtes un homme, vous serez placé entre deux femmes, car la maîtresse de maison souhaite alterner les convives de chaque sexe. Les hommes normalement ont le devoir de s’occuper de leur voisine et de faire la conversation avec elle.

Aussi, lorsque l’on quitte ses hôtes, il est bien sûr essentiel de les saluer et de les remercier personnellement. En général, il n’est pas nécessaire de saluer les autres invités avant de partir, mais les circonstances peuvent varier grandement. Dans le cas d’un petit groupe, il est évident que votre départ sera remarqué, il sera alors poli de saluer tout le monde, soit individuellement, soit en s’adressant au groupe. Il est possible aussi qu’un départ entraîne plusieurs autres départs. Les salutations de départ peuvent parfois durer un certain temps chez les Français, il n’est pas rare en effet qu’après les “au revoir” d’usage, la conversation soit relancée à nouveau pour quinze ou vingt minutes. L’idée de “partir” pour les Français est plus un “projet” qu’une intention ferme et déterminée que l’on exécute immédiatement. En bref, un départ trop brusque sera considéré comme anormal et impoli.

[Stefania]

I think it's good manners to make polite conversation with the person sitting next to us at the table without being too talkative nor remain silent. Something else that I find very annoying when I am invited to a formal or casual dinner is that some people here in Cyprus talk at the top of their voices. It can be very embarrassing, especially if the dinner takes place in a restaurant.

[Lisa A]

Buonasera Anastasia. Is my pleasure to add some tips for formal dinner etiquette in my country.

1. At the Italian table, even if is not formal, is very rude to ask for cappuccino after 12 pm. After dinner you can ask for caffé normale or espresso after dinner and if the hostess suggest.

2. Also it is no good manners in Italy to ask for parmigiano to put it on pizza if the hostess offer pizza for starter which it is common. For the Italians is a great sin to ask for parmigiano - I forget the English word. Is the Italian cheese we are put on pasta but never on pizza!

3.You must never sit down or start to eat before the hostess.

4. If your invite to Italian home you must to never arrive late. An italian lady usually will make pasta and risotto for starters or pizza di bufalo and must to be serve immediatly