Thirteen Things Your Burglar Won't Tell You!

 

1. Of course, I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste ... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

 6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink-----and the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom......and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door-------understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at faketv.com.)

 

8 MORE THINGS A BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:

1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.

4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.

7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.

8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

 Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina , Oregon , California , and Kentucky ; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs crimedoctor.com; and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book "Burglars on the Job. "

 

From My Friend Faith

Comments

[Walid]

Habebti.
Thank you kindly for the good notice, it is true with all respect to booth sides.
Don't be surprise if I tell you this .There is always a challenge between burglars and house holders.There is also a difference between Burglar and a thief.
The first do respect himself,his job,and his victim.He plays it a neat way.Never to brake in a poor working people who struggle for living.
The second don't respect any one.He plays it the dirty way,even to kill or get killed.Or to steel from his own MOTHER.
A surprise from a victim that he/she saw or knew the Bugler while he is in,is very dangerous thing, it is an invitation to be rape or to be killed.Or both.Burglars hate to be known ,see never react unless a hit comes first.
Rainy weather invites Burglars ,the thunder the rain sound will cover the voice of a brake in.The cold will make some one cover more and have a heavy sleep.
Get use to the steps and breath of every one living in the same house, so you may know or feel a foreign step.
May God protect us from always.Thanks to Faith.God Bless.
With Love Walid.

[Stefania]

I had better watch my lawn guy who always carry a rake!! You never know these days. I have an alarm system which cost me a lot of money but it's a bit of a trouble because it often goes off without a reason!I think I will look for that fakeTV - that's a good idea. Thats why some of my neighbours wont talk to me!! Thanks for the great laugh. Filakia.

[Laura]

Very funny and entertaining!

[Phivos]

Time to be more concious and alert!

[Christina]

I loved this one sooooooooooo much! It's time I translated something for pleasure so if you don't mind I'll translate it for my greek friends!

[Andy]

glitter-graphics.com

A burglar got into a house one holiday night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables.

He heard again, "Jesus is watching you." This time he shined his light all over, and it rested on a parrot.

He asked, "Did you say that?"

The parrot admitted that he had. "I'm just trying to warn you, is all."

The burglar sad, "Warn me, huh? A parrot? Who are you? What's your name?"

"Moses."

"Well, what kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"

The bird answered, "I don't know; I guess the same folks who would name a Rottweiler "Jesus'"........

[Constantinos]

Very funny, indeed! On a more serious tone, my house was broken into while I was at work about 2 months ago. The alarm system did not work. I wish I had that fake tv installed!It could have deterred the burglars.

[Anastasia]

Thanks for the tips, Walid. I must admit I haven't given it a thought. Now that you mention it, I guess stormy weather is favourable for burglars...In Cyprus burglars would rather break into a house than a flat.Touch wood! They must have the ...fear of heights!

[Anastasia]

I don't mind at all, Christina, and would love to see your translation.

[Anastasia]

This could be a good idea, after all!

[Anastasia]

I had a rottweiler called Puppuce-Mario based on the pattern Marie-Claire or Anne-Marie. Who would name a rottweiler Pupuce-Mario? Only me!!!

[Anastasia]

How very true!

[Anastasia]

Yes it is! I love the tips on how to keep burglars out through a humorous approach.

[Anastasia]

Make sure he doesn't carry a clipboard as well!