Anastasia

My Mother

My mother and I don't always get along very well. More often than not, it seems that one of us is saying the wrong thing, presses the wrong buttons and, as a result, our conversations tend to be quite explosive! Yet, in our heart of hearts, we know that we love each other dearly. I always felt, though, that my dad could understand me more than any other person in the world - this is probably why I'll never get over his sudden death 10  years ago.

With my mum - Nicosia, September 1958

I've often had a rather strained relationship with my mother. She'd criticise almost everything - my hair, my clothes, my friends, my behaviour or attitude, my opinion on various issues, the way I decorate my flat, my flat in general - the list is endless! I strongly felt being under scrutiny and, as a result, I avoided sharing my secrets or troubles with her. On the other hand, I admit to my flaws. I'm kind of blunt and always speak my mind because I'd rather say something to somebody's face than behind their back. In other words, I'm not diplomatic! Our relationship improved a lot when I decided to see things from her point of view.

My mum - Christmas Eve 2004

I felt I could understand her better and eventually realised how much she cared and how wrong I was to pick on her. By appreciating the positive side of her character, I was able to connect with her and communicate much better. For example, she never meddled in my life, never made any comments whatsoever. On the contrary, she was a pattern of discretion. My mum is the sweetest and kindest person I've ever known. Despite her occasional criticisms, she's always been there for me offering her support in times of hardship and sharing my happiness in times of joy. Now I know that she's done an excellent job and I'll be forever thankful for all the sacrifices she's made for me and my brother.

On a summer holiday with my mother - August 2005

At 76 , my mum is an independent person, who lives on her own and has many hobbies and interests in her life such as going on day trips, cooking, reading, writing, charity, decorating to mention only a few. She's also the kindest person I've ever known. She always has a good word for everyone and when she can she helps others very willingly. I feel I owe her a lot - most importantly I owe her my life.

The Wrong Day

In Cyprus, we tend to celebrate name days more than birthdays.  According to the Greek Orthodox Church, a child should be named after a christian saint. Although in recent years, the Church no longer refuses to christen a child by the name the parents have chosen, most Greek Cypriots would name their children after a grandmother or a grandfather who's already got a christian orthodox name. Very often, not naming a child after a grandparent may lead to serious misunderstandings and arguments between parents and grandparents. As a result of this ritual, name days are very important here.

Yesterday was a terribly busy day at work for me, so I went to work much earlier than usual. It was 9:30 am when I suddenly remembered my mother's name day on the 25th. I had not even got a present for her! In a panic, I called Alkis and begged him to send some flowers to mum despite the fact that I knew he was jammed with work. He was preparing a meeting at that time, but he said he'd ask his secretary to arrange that. I emailed him the wishes for the greeting card and his secretary did not delay one minute to place the order.

Later in the morning, while I was planning lessons on Microsoft Outlook, I had a look at the date. It said: 25 October 2011. Oh no! My mother's name day is on 25 November! Saint Catherine's Day! No sooner had I realised that I sent mum flowers on the wrong day than I called Alkis back but ..he was at the meeting and his mobile phone was set to silent. I texted him hoping that he'd do something to stop the delivery of the flowers .

When he called me back, it was too late. The flowers had already been delivered. My mum called to thank me for the lovely surprise!  She thought the flowers were a birthday gift! When I told her that I had forgotten her birthday and that the flowers were meant for her name day, she laughed and said that  she loved both the ...surprise and the flowers!

The funny thing is that Alkis' secretary thought she'd call her cousin Catherine to wish her Happy Name Day. The cousin said: "Are you crazy, girl? My name day is in a month today!"

Have you ever done anything on the wrong day?

Our Wedding

Twenty-eight years have flown by since that sunny October Saturday when I  married my Prince Charming. We both lived and worked in Geneva, Switzerland then and most of our common friends lived  there as well. Most importantly, we had met and fallen in love in Switzerland.  So we decided to get married at the Orthodox Church of Chambesy in Geneva.  I also wanted to avoid the traditional Cyprus wedding where more than 2000 people are invited by the happy couple's parents! In Cyprus, after the church ceremony, a reception is usually held at a hotel during which the happy couple receives the wishes of hundreds and thousands of people - most of whom are complete strangers! But they're the parents' friends and relatives!!! After the hotel reception dinner is held  for close friends and family - usually about 300 people!

Most guests would give the happy couple an envelope containing money instead of a real present! Surely, by the end of the day all the wedding expenses have been paid off in addition to the fact that the happy couple can also purchase the house of their dreams. All this sounds like business to me and this is the only reason why I did not do my parents' favour and get married in Cyprus. In the end,  parents and close family accepted our decision and travelled to Switzerland for the wedding.

Our wedding reception was held at Le Parc des Eaux Vives  by lake Leman.  Alkis and I had a great time and so did our 73 guests.  A dinner was organised for our families and close friends but we did say that we wouldn't be there! We wanted to start our honeymoon and spend our first night as a married couple in the city where we first met - Fribourg. The following day, we set off to Falera - a small village in the Swiss Alps near Saint Moritz.

 

Twenty-eight years later, I feel blessed to have known so much happiness.  We had our ups and downs, bad and good moments but we've been through them together. This year, our wedding anniversary is on a Saturday and we are going to celebrate it just the two of us. Alkis said he'd surprise me!

A Valuable Possession

We sometimes tend to amass possessions - often without being aware of doing so. Indeed, we can have a delightful surprise when we find something useful which we forgot we owned. Unwanted objects are left in drawers, cupboards and attics for years, in the belief that we may one day need them. As we grow older, we accumulate belongings for three other reasons:

• Lack of physical and mental energy, both of which are essential in turning out and throwing away unwanted things.
• Lack of time or laziness
• Sentiment

I think I belong to the third category. I won't throw away things which are full of associations with the past - especially those things associated with relatives who passed away. These possessions gradually acquire for me a value beyond their true worth.

This brooch was offered to me by my grandmother a few months before she passed away. It's made of silver and a few semi-precious stones. But that's all my grandfather could afford when he married my grandmother. My grandma had always worn this brooch since her wedding day. And when she gave it to me, I felt I owned a valuable possession.

What's your most valuable possession?

Christmas Past

Trying to ...flame the Christmas Pudding

Christmas has always been my favourite time of year after the summer. As a little girl, I would help mum decorate the Christmas tree and make the traditional Christmas sweets - melomakarona and kourabiedes. On Christmas day all the family would gather together at mum's. I can still picture me sitting on grandma's lap , asking for yet another Christmas story....Mum would then serve champagne and canapés in the shape of Christmas stars or Christmas bells which prepared the palate for the festive lunch.

What mum named "Christmas Village" - made of chocolate, sugar and fresh cream inside the little houses.

A Christmas starter: king prawns decorating an edible Christmas tree. 

After lunch, the Christmas cake was served in the living-room with coffee and liqueurs while we'd open up our presents which had been placed under the Christmas tree a couple of weeks before Christmas - all bearing the label "Don't open before Christmas". I remember how anxious I was to open them before Christmas but mum said that if I did, Santa would never again bring me any presents at all. Terrified at the thought of Santa's wrath, I would sit on the floor by the Christmas tree contemplating the nicely wrapped boxes..trying to guess or imagine what was in them.

 

Nothing much has changed through time as I still anticipate Christmas with the wonderment of a little girl. 

May the beauty of Christmas bring you all special happiness and a special time to keep in touch and say how much we care.

Merry Christmas!   

Divorce - A Blessing or a Curse?

Photo Credit

Not as long as 20 years ago, divorce was rare in Cyprus. If a married couple had problems, they'd talk and search a solution or they'd compromise for their children's sake. In the last five years or so, divorce rates have rocketed in Cyprus! One in three file for divorce and this tends to affect older ages as well. The other day, someone came to the school to repair something. His mobile phone rang. He said:"Sorry, it's my wife." (He meant his ex wife).

Although I hate people talking on the phone for personal reasons while at work, I told him that it was ok. When he hung up, he apologised again and went on to tell me this: " I'm 51 and my wife is 46, but we decided to get a divorce." Of course, as he opened up, I asked him why. He said their children were to blame. He insisted that they caused their parents to get a divorce. When I asked him how old their children were, he said they were 12 and 14! I was shocked!

Children are not to blame for their parents' divorce! They are not responsible for their parents' problems. But if a couple can't live together, regardless of the reasons why, it is much better for their children to get a divorce. However, both parents together should explain to their children that they divorce because they (the parents) have problems and assure their kids that they'll always have two parents.

To me divorce is a blessing if there are children. Children should be spared all this -  if not through compromise, through sincere parents who will take the time to talk to their children and explain why they are divorcing. .

And please let me repeat this:

No child is responsible for their parents' divorce!

Your thoughts are very welcome as always.

 

Thanks, Mum!

 

Mum and I haven't always got on well. We fight more often than not, we don't understand each other, we hurt each other. This has been happening since I was a teenager. My brother was the wonder child, I was the odd one out. I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend at sixteen and when I trusted her and told her I was in love with one of my classmates, all she said was "I'll tell your father and you will be punished very severely." I was glad she told Dad because he did not threaten with punishment, he just asked me to talk about it. And I remember we had a great talk and I  felt like I was talking to my best friend. 

 
When I met Alkis - my husband - at eighteen,  mum was furious! According to her, he was much older than me (7 years older!) and most importantly, he was poor!  Dad said he wanted to talk to me about Alkis. He asked me if he loved me and if I loved him and  the answer was yes. Then Dad said : "That's all that matters and I trust you." You can say, I was daddy's girl, and I still miss him so much. I don't think I'll ever get over his passing away seven years ago.

Mum and I still argue a lot. Mostly for trivial matters . Yet, I owe her a lot. I owe her who I am and if I was mad at her at times, I would like to apologise because I love her very much.  I am not a mother myself, but right now I would like to tell the whole world how much I love my mum. She's the world to me!

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Being Godparents

This has been in my Blog It list since last October. Owing to work on the one hand and to the holidays on the other, I’ve never really got down to writing this blog which is a very important part of my adult life. So today, I’ll go back to October and tell you about one of the most wonderful, most touching experiences in my life. That of being a godmother for the first time.

 

On October 11^th 2009, Alkis and I became the happy godparents of Alkistis – the youngest daughter of Zoe, Alkis’ niece. Both Alkis and I were very honoured when Zoe and Stratos asked us to be the godparents of their adorable baby girl. Alkistis was 10 months old in October and she really behaved herself during the christening at the church of Chrysopolitissa in Larnaca. Being godparents is not only a touching experience but also involves a lot of responsibility as the spiritual parents of the child.

 

Unlike most babies on the day of their christening, Alkistis hardly cried and seemed to be enjoying the ceremony. The Greek Orthodox  ceremony of the baptism consists of the following procedure:

The Renunciation and the Acceptance –  the child will be held by Godparent or Godparents (Nonos and Nona in Greek) as they stand in the narthex of the church facing east (towards the altar). The priest, standing in front of them, blows three times into the child’s face in the form of the cross to drive away any evil spirits and adverse power and blesses the child each time saying “In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen”. He then places his hands on the child’s head, which symbolizes the taking of possession of the candidate in the name of the Holy Trinity and recites a prayer addressed to the Triune God: “In your name, O God of truth..I lay my hand on your servant who has been found worthy to seek salvation in your Holy Name and protection under the shelter of your wings. Banish from him the old error, fill him with faith and hope in you..so that he might know that you are the only true God..Grant him the ability to live in accordance with your commandments.”

The Exorcisms – The prayer is followed by three exorcisms and yet another prayer, the prayer of acceptance, at the end of which the priest, in summary of all that was said before, asks God to drive out and banish from the child any and every evil and impure spirit which may be hiding and lurking in his heart and make him a reason-endowed sheep in the holy flock of Christ, an honorable member of the Church, child and heir of the kingdom. The child and Godparent will then be asked to face west and renounce Satan and all his works, and all his worship and all his angels, and all his pride in a question and answer form three times and then asked to breath (instead of the old tradition of spitting) down on Satan. Facing west signifies the west, a place of natural darkness, where the Devil, who is darkness himself, makes his abode.

The Confession of Faith – Then the child and Godparent will face east again and affirmatively answer The Priest who will ask them (three times) if they have pledged their allegiance to Christ.

The Service of Baptism

The Blessing of the Water – Now that the child is ready, they will enter the Church and the Priest will ask the Holy Spirit to come down and bless and consecrate the water in the font and make it an instrument of salvation.

The Blessing of the Oil and Anointing – Once the blessing of the water is complete, the Godparent will offer a small bottle of olive oil over which a prayer for the banishment of evil is read to make it “an anointing of incorruption, a weapon of justice, a renewal of soul and body, a defense against every influence of the Devil and a release from evil to all those who are anointed with it, or partake of it.” Some of this oil is then poured crosswise three times on the water in the font in order to render the consecration of the water complete. The child (now naked) will be anointed with the blessed oil on the forehead, nose, ears, mouth, chest, legs, feet, hands and back. The Godparent will then anoint the child, to prepare him, just as an athlete prepares, to battle the demon whom he has just renounced and to slip away from the grip of sin. 

The Baptism – Now the child will be immersed in the font three times with prayers, and then handed to the Godparent who is waiting for him with a white sheet.

The Sacrament of Chrism (Confirmation)

Now newly baptized, the child will be chrismated with Holy Myrrh on the same parts of the body where he was earlier anointed with oil. Holy Chrism is the seal of the gift of the Holy Sprit, which brands all baptized persons with a seal which sets them apart as inalienable possessions of Christ. That is, the Holy Spirit embraces them and envelopes them like a shield and an armor of faith to enable them to live the faith into which they have just been baptized. This is why Chrismation is also known as the Sacrament of the Holy Spirit.

The Tonsure

Following the Baptism and Chrism, the Priest will tonsure the child by cutting some of his hair crosswise to signify: that Christ will be the head of the child from now on, that he will reject other allegiances, the first sacrifice from his body to God.

 
  
  
The Vesting

The Priest now blesses the child and places a white garment of righteousness on him. The child will leave to be dressed and the Priest will read additional prayers at this time. The child will return fully dressed and undergoes the ablution or symbolic washing away of the Myrrh and then receives the blessing of Christ. The Godparent will then take the child’s baptismal candle and will then be lead three times around the font. This is an act of rejoicing with the angles in heaven at the return of a lost sheep, and with the other Christians present at the addition of one more member to the flock of Christ.

The Readings

The readings follow from the Epistle of Paul to the Romans (6, 3-11) where Paul makes the comparison between the immersion and emersion with the burial and resurrection of Christ and from the Gospel according to St. Matthew (28, 16-20) where the Divine Institution of Baptism was established by our Lord.

Holy Communion

The whole ceremony ends with the partaking of Holy Communion by the child, his first taste of the Body and Blood of the Lord, so that just as nature nourishes the newborn infant physically with milk, likewise the Grace offers to it Holy Communion as spiritual food as so as he is born through baptism. Finally the Priest places a blessed gold cross around the neck of the child. The child will then be presented to the parents and the celebration can begin.

More Photos

Autumnal Sunday

Last night, Alkis came back late from work as there was a wedding reception taking place at the hotel and he had to check on things so that everything would be perfect for the happy couple. By the time he got home , the wedding reception at the  swimming-pool area had already finished and everything went off swimmingly! He had a long, hard day at work so I rewarded him with a very special treat for dinner on the terrace. Perfumed candles, lillies floating in a crystal bowl, Neil Diamond's September Morn playing in the background, my famous coq au vin avec pommes dauphinoises for main course and poires a la beaujolaise  for dessert. And, of course, a great French red - Chassange-Montrachet. I'm afraid I was too distracted to take any photos! The terrace is semi-covered with a pergola so we didn't really feel the first drops of rain as both the wine and the dessert kept us quite warm. Within minutes it was pouring! It was one of those rare times that I enjoyed the rain as I go back to school tomorrow. Like my friend Stefania says on her blog, it feels much better to go back to school when autumn's in the air.

Lefkara

Just after the Easter break, Labour's Day was a very pleasant day off in an otherwise hectic school term - the last term of 2008-2009 school year. For most people in Europe it is also a long weekend, not for me , though, as I start workearly in the morning tomorrow. So we couldn't get away for the weekend , as Alkis had suggested. Besides, I had a pile of IGCSE compositions to mark. I got up early in the morning and by 11:00 o'clock I had finished my marking and got ready for an outing. We went to the nearby village of Lefkara    - home to the finest local embroidery -  and had lunch at Iason's Restaurant. The fresh mountain air gve us a huge appetite and had a hearty meal, as per usual when we eat out in the countryside.

 

Lefkara is situated at an altitude of 750 metres, south west of the Troodos Mountains. You can say that Lefkara lies in the heart of Cyprus, because it is only 50km away from Nicosia, 35km from Larnaca and 55km from Limassol. The dry and healthy climate, the hospitality of the people of Lefkara, the beauty of the landscape and the art of embroidery are only a few reasons to come to Lefkara. Thousands of tourists from all over the world visit Lefkara each year.

And since I am a history lover, here is a very brief historical survey of Lefkara.

The village attributes its name to the surrounding mountains: Lefka Ori, White Mountains.
Historical sources show that the different conquerors of Cyprus have left their tracks behind in Lefkara. In the period of the Franks (the French Kings also known as The Lusignans), Lefkara became the seat of the bishop of Amathus.Under the authority of Venice, Lefkara became a sanctuary for women from Venice. According to the legend these women taught the local population to embroider.During this period the famous Leonardo da Vinci reputedly visited Lefkara and legend says he bought a big table-cloth for the altar of the Milanese cathedral.Around 1570, when the Turks invaded Cyprus, Lefkara offered lodging to a lot of refugees.